Faulty Logic Vignette

Cognitive distortions can get in our way. This is a fictional short story to demonstrate how easily cognitive distortions can slip into your life and influence your behavior.

The business person walked around their house for the umpteenth time flicking switches, clicking locks, and moving knobs. Bag in hand, contents checked again, they stepped into the world. On the way to work their thoughts tumbled constantly.

The business person began checking boxes in their mind to make sure they had done everything correctly so far. They considered the morning’s selection of clothing. Grandmother had always insisted that clean underwear should be a priority. What if you were in an accident today and the poor nurse treating you had to see dirty underwear? The business person adjusted their suit again to ensure there were no wrinkles.

Elevator music jarred the churning thoughts. Thoughts of nurses casting shame for imperfect underwear faded to images of the faces that were going to be in the meeting. The meeting notes were neatly filed in a color coded folder in the bag. Perfect. The business person took in a deep breath. A mistake. The woman about to get off on this floor was doused in perfume.

They began to worry if the smell would linger on them. Other people might hate the smell or think they were strange for wearing perfume at all. They might not take the business person seriously. The business person might lose their job. If they lost their job their spouse might leave them and they couldn’t afford the bills on their own. They would lose the house… The door dinged open. The business person stepped onto their floor.

The presentation room was set up and ready. Papers were distributed to waiting seats as planned. Attendees began filing in. Idle chatter occurred appropriately. The business person carefully used names and pulled up random personal facts to show familiarity as opportunities presented themselves as was the custom.

The presentation started. The business person attempted to use the right tone, cadence, and level of animation for the subject matter. It felt like it was going according to plan for several minutes before a set of down turned eyes kept catching the business person’s attention. The person was clearly not looking up. The business person caught the flicker of a light from a screen. The business person stuttered over a word. The presentation was not good enough to keep attention. That person hated it. The business person thought everyone must think they were an idiot. Everything that went into this was a waste of time. Everyone had to like it. This was a failure.

Another business person commented, “It’s cold in here,” as they slipped on a blazer.

The business person frowned. “I’m so sorry about that.”

“Oh, don’t be silly. It’s not like it’s your job to keep this place the right temperature. I’m sorry I interrupted.”

“No, you were uncomfortable. It makes sense to lose your focus.” The business person said to themselves they will add temperature gauges to future checking rituals. This could not happen again.

The presentation came to a close and the business person turned to the others for questions. The most important person in the room pointed out some interesting parts of the presentation. The business person started to smile. They had noticed the business person’s hard work. The presentation went well. The important person then gestured and pointed out something in the handout, “But this could do with some change. I think a different color scheme would make the figures look more appealing.” Several people agreed. The presentation was horrible.

“That sounds like a good suggestion and an easy thing to upgrade. Thank you for the feedback.” The business person hoped no one else could hear any wobble in their voice.

The meeting ended with the business person’s plan being accepted. Another meeting was scheduled to go through with the next steps. Several people congratulated the business person as they disappeared to different parts of the building to more meetings. Redundant emails were sent thanking everyone for attendance and feedback.

Before leaving the office the business person checked on how to acquire thermostats for the meeting rooms. On the commute home the business person began thinking about what would happen if there was some kind of accident and they had to go to the hospital. The business person wondered if the nurse would care how sweaty their undershirt was and if that counted as dirty underwear. The business person wondered if they ought to begin packing a separate set of clothes just in case.