The Choice Point: How to Become The Person You Want to Be
Understanding how to use a tool like the Choice Point helps us to develop the insight we need to behave in ways that align with our values and move towards becoming the person we want to be.
What is the Choice Point?
The Choice Point is a tool developed in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that helps identify and respond to problems in ways that are healthy and effective.
Making Choices
All day long we’re making choices. We are always up to something even if that something is trying to do nothing. When we make decisions that take us away from the person that we want to be we’ll call those Away moves. Moves are any kind of behavior we choose to make. When we make choices that help us travel in the direction of the person we want to be we’ll call those Towards moves. In therapy, part of the goal is to learn the skills you need so that you can make more Towards moves in your life. The more Towards moves you make the more you will become like the person you want to be.
Situations
Beneath the arrows you’ll see the Situation. The Situation is your thoughts, feelings, urges, sensations, memories, and impulses. Something happened and now you’re experiencing a Situation in response. Often, our mind then responds to the Situation by attempting to Hook us into making Away moves to get away from the uncomfortable Situation as quickly as possible. Everyone gets Hooked sometimes. As humans we are bound to make mistakes. It only starts to get concerning if we’re making so many Away moves that we are getting further and further away from the person who we want to become.
Choice Point
Situations are going to happen. Things outside of our control will pop up and we will inevitably have that initial internal response. We get to choose what to do next and have control at the Choice Point which happens just after the Situation. After the Situation arises we now have a decision to make. How will I choose to handle this? How will I behave in response to this Situation?
Learning how to identify a Situation, pause at the Choice Point to decide what is our best course of action, and make a Towards Move with your behavior is much easier said than done. However, with practice and learning skills for getting unhooked it becomes much easier. Counseling can be a great place to learn how to practice identifying what Away or Towards moves look like for you. You can learn how to develop the skills you need to lead the life you choose.
Conclusion: Choosing Your Path
Our days are full of choices. With intention and plenty of skills we can learn how to make the choices that will take us Towards the person we want to become.
In another post, I'll go into more depth about what it means to live by your values using the Choice Point.